Several women told that they had suffered as a result of being married to men who couldn’t sustain erections. But several other women also stressed that a good lover does not always need control as an essential part of their sex lives. Judy, who is now 43, remembers that her favourite sexual experience was with a lover who couldn’t sustain an erection for longer than a few minutes:
“He really had a problem in this department. I don’t know if he got too excited or not. What I do know was …

“The more a man cares about pleasing a partner, the more he has to think about maintaining an erection and not coming too soon.” Bob, 29, single.
This idea on male sexuality and orgasms are very female-centred, and what he says is partly true. However, the fact is that a man cannot always maintain an erection until the woman has an orgasm. Some men care a great deal about pleasing their partners, and may even care a bit too much. We know that some of these men are married to women …

Some men are so controlled that it’s a real problem. These men cannot “let go” and reach orgasm when they are inside a woman. Other men ejaculate so quickly they don’t always manage to penetrate before they reach orgasm. Most men are somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. According to the men I spoke to, this middle range is wide. Some men find that after 5 minutes of intercourse they are ready to climax; others sustain an erection for up to 30 minutes or longer.
A few men seem …

Denise, 62 and married remembers that her husband started having problems after his first heart attack.
“I think he was scared of becoming too excited. But he had never had any problems before sexually. Until then, we had made love often so I should have realized that his illness was affecting him sexually, but it still made me feel insecure. Eventually we worked it out but the strange thing is we never discussed his potency problems. We both pretended that it wasn’t happening, even when it was.”
The female consensus seems to …