3 Reasons Why Odor Compatibility Is Important in Romantic Relationships
3 Reasons Why Odor Compatibility Is Important in Romantic Relationships
It can be a big turn-off if you're not attracted to how your partner smells.
I love the way my partner smells. There's just something about his natural scent that makes me feel attracted to him.
The tiny hairs on my arms prickle to attention, whether he's fresh out of the shower or pungent with sweat after a hard day's work. I even enjoy how his clothes smell after he's worn them all day.
Not everyone feels the same way about their partner's scent.
I have had clients who found their spouse's natural odor so repulsive that they had to leave the room whenever they were downwind. Other couples told me they didn't notice each other's scent unless they were nearby, like cuddling or during sex.
So why am I telling you all this? Because I think that odor compatibility is an essential but often overlooked aspect of romantic relationships.
Here are three reasons why I think it's vital to be compatible with your partner in terms of scent:
1. Attraction starts in the nose.
We are attracted to people based on their scent. It's a primal instinct that is present in all mammals (I think), and it's one of the things that makes us want to mate with someone.
Pheromones are chemicals that are released from our bodies, and they play a significant role in attraction. They can send all sorts of signals to potential mates, like how healthy we are, whether we're ovulating, etc.
Some people are attracted to how their partners smell, even if they don't consciously realize it. And the contrary is also true. It can be a big turn-off if you're not attracted to how your partner smells.
“Research has shown that we use scent-based signaling mechanisms to suss out compatibility.” — Psychology Today
2. Scent is a major part of sexual chemistry.
Smell is the strongest sense linked to memory. This is because the olfactory bulb, which processes scent, is located right next to the limbic system, which is responsible for emotions and memories.
This is why certain smells can trigger powerful emotions and memories.
When you're in a relationship, your partner's scent intertwines with all the good (and sometimes bad) memories you have of them.
If you don't like your partner's scent, all those memories will be tainted.
“One of the most common things women tell marriage counselors is, ‘I can’t stand his smell,’” — Rachel Herz, The Scent of Desire
3. Odor compatibility plays a huge role in sexual satisfaction
Can we be real for a minute? Nobody wants to get busy with someone that stinks. And while it's true that stinky is relative (see point number one), if you're constantly holding your breath or trying not to gag when you're having sex with your partner, it's going to be tough to feel satisfied.
When we have a positive relationship with our partners' scent, we feel closer to them. We feel more comfortable being in close proximity to them. We're more likely to want to cuddle and do the horizontal boogie with them.
Conversely, when we're not attracted to our partner's scent, we tend to keep our distance. We don't want to cuddle or have sex as often. And even if we do, we're not as satisfied because there's that underlying ick factor.
“When we disregard what our noses tell us, we can find ourselves mired in partnerships that breed sexual discontent, infertility, and even — in extreme cases — unhealthy offspring.” — Elizabeth Svoboda, Psychology Today
So if you're wondering whether or not you and your partner are compatible in the odor department, my advice is to take a sniff and see how it goes if it's a match made in heaven, great! If not, well, you might need to have a very uncomfortable conversation.
Fine print: This article speaks to natural body odor, not poor hygiene. Obviously, if your partner doesn't bathe or hit the hot spots, that's an entirely different story.
Do you agree that odor compatibility is essential in romantic relationships? Why or why not? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!