Do You Know Why You Have Sex?

A simple question most people have never considered.

I recently asked a stranger this question. Which is not unusual; conversations tend to drift toward sex when I’m around. *shrug*

We’d been talking about his relationship initially. Then he casually mentioned that he enjoyed sex more than his partner. So I asked, rather bluntly, I admit, “Why do you have sex?”

He paused and looked at me like I was out of my ever-loving mind.

Naturally, I pressed a little more. “What is it about sex that you want?” And he couldn’t say.

Most people can’t.

“I mean... because I want to?”

“Right, but what do you want? What is it about sex specifically?”

Another pause. Longer this time.

He couldn’t say.

This gentleman was in his late 60s. He’d been having sex since his late teens. So we’re talking about decades of experience. And it never occurred to him to think about why.

He assumed that his appetite for sex was purely about pleasure. That wanting it and the end goal were one and the same.

They’re not.

A lot of us make this assumption.

Sure, sometimes we get an inkling that something is off. Particularly when the itch goes unscratched when it’s over. But unless there is a glaring reason to dig in, we simply let it slide.

But when you know your why, a whole new world opens.

So, now I’m asking you. Why do you have sex?

If sex isn’t currently part of your life, the question is: Why did you have sex?

There are no wrong answers. I’m genuinely curious. Sit with this question for a minute and see what comes up for you.

I’m gathering responses for a future podcast episode. If you want to share your answer anonymously, fill out this form.

Your response might end up in the episode… anonymously, of course.