From Shy to Sensational: How to Help Your Partner Become Sexually Adventurous

Make sure they are an enthusiastic yes — the whole way thru.

Photo: Depositphotos by VitalikRadko

My former partner was overbearing. He didn’t come off as a bully — but he was bullish. He was used to getting his way and was not emotionally mature enough to respect differing perspectives. And he approached sex the way he approached life — his way or the highway.

Then I came along with my strong will and brawny personality. I do not shy away from challenges, and I am not easily intimidated. And that’s what he loved about me.

He was inspired by my tenacity and enjoyed having spirited conversations with me. We were opposites, which seemed to work very well most of the time.

But when it came to sex, we couldn’t seem to get on the same page. His approach bordered on aggressive, but my body requires a sensual touch to come online.

He made it a habit of trying to force me out of my comfort zone while we were in the middle of sex. And while I’m all for improvisation and going with the sexual current — I believe that new things need a proper introduction. But he refused to discuss his desire for rough sex outside of the bedroom.

This became a major sticking point in our relationship. He decided that I was a sexual dud who was too vanilla to spice things up. But the truth is, I felt the opposite of safe with him. I may not be submissive by nature, but I am willing to surrender, providing I feel safe enough to do so.

His coercive tactics were not sexy; they were repulsive. Needless to say, our sex life died a slow, ugly death dragging our relationship down with it.

The good news is, that relationship made me more discerning. The partners that came after helped me to open up. And I have since gone on to have a rich, colorful and rather bawdy sex life.

If you’ve read this far, I suspect that you can relate to being in a relationship where the sex is a bit bland for your taste.

Are you craving something more peppery? But perhaps your partner is, how can I say, not interested…

Well, keep reading.

I’ve tooled together a few things that might help pique your partner’s interest.