Is Doggy Style a Way to Avoid Intimacy and Connection?

Distraction, detachment, and the meanings we bring to bed.

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

I used to loathe doggy style.

It wasn’t painful. It didn’t feel bad. I even enjoyed it occasionally. But it made me feel disembodied… like a prop.

The story I told myself was if all he could see was my ass, that must be all he cared about, right?

Now that I’m more seasoned and more aware of my muchness, I know that “ass up” can be sexy. Surrendered. Deeply pleasurable, even. Turns out the position wasn’t the problem. It was the people. The chemistry (or lack of it). The vibe.

Doggy is a go-to for a lot of penis owners. Sometimes it’s a great way to avoid catching feelings. It’s also good if you appreciate a little cushion with the pushin’. I’ve had both. Which got the thinking…

Is doggy style a way to avoid intimacy? And if it is, is that necessarily a bad thing?