Sex IRL

Sex IRL

Is Vanilla Sex Good Enough to Be Really Good?

Ice Cream. Shame. And boredom.

Stacey Herrera's avatar
Stacey Herrera
Oct 31, 2025
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“We’re pretty vanilla, I guess…”

He sounded embarrassed. When I asked whether he experienced pleasure during sex, he said, “Yes, all the time… every time.”

Yet, he feels shame.

When did this happen? When did the most common kind of sex become something to be embarrassed about?

Well, I’ve got a theory (of course, I do).

Hold up… first, we need to clarify what we mean by regular/vanilla sex, right?

Vanilla Sex Defined

Missionary only? No oral? Lights off? Who decides?

Sex is not a monolith. So it’s both relative and subjective.

Somebody reading this will swear that doggy style is a kink. And someone else might think Shibari is as boring as Wonder Bread.

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