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There has been a lot of talk about self-care these days.
This makes total sense considering that life has been rife with grief, unrest, and cataclysmic change (for as long as we can remember). Taking care of yourself has never been optional, but until now, it may not have been something that you’ve taken seriously.
But what does it really mean to take care of yourself?
Is it about making sure that you eat when your stomach rumbles? Or is it getting enough sleep to keep the under-eye bags at bay? The short answer is yes — AND.
Self-care is about more than rest and nourishment. It’s also about being a part of a supportive community. It’s about your yes’s and your no’s. How you decide to spend your time and whom you spend it with.
Self-care is about boundaries and being boundless. Moving your body and giving your mind the afternoon off. These are all important things that can make all the difference. But there is a very large part of self-care that is often overlooked and rarely discussed publically — sex.
Sex is self-care.
We have established that self-care is about taking care of all of your needs — mental, physical, and emotional. For most people, not all, sex is a mental, physical, and emotional need. So if you’re like me, and you fall in the most people category, you need to make sex a priority.
Sex should be at the top of your to-do list.
I understand that pleasure is subjective, but for the sake of this discussion, I am specifically talking about sexual pleasure. Which may or may not include a partner.
Sex reduces stress. #ForFacts
Now if you are single or in a relationship where the sex has waned — you might be rolling your eyes right now. I get it. But while partnered sex might be what you most desire — don’t discount masturbation. Especially if your mood has been erratic or if you are feeling lonely and vulnerable.
And if you are partnered, this is your friendly reminder that partnered sex is not a substitute for masturbation.
It’s okay to feel good.
War is happening, money is tight, hearts are breaking everywhere, and John Wick is dead (I think… sorry if I spoiled the end) — and it’s still okay to feel good.
You are allowed to experience pleasure, sexual and otherwise, even when it feels like everything has gone to shit.
Pleasure and pain are not mutually exclusive.
You can be sad and still smile. You can be lonely and still enjoy your own company. You can grieve massive losses and still live life to the fullest.
Pleasure does not negate adversity.
Whatever you are going through, no matter how bad it seems, you are still allowed to feel good.
So if you’ve been avoiding pleasure — stop it.
Have sex with your partner or a willing stranger.
Schedule a playdate with yourself.
Have an orgasm or two — or none.
Touch your skin.
Massage your vulva.
Stroke your penis.
Twist your nipples.
Use a toy or a showerhead.
Watch porn.
Listen to audio porn.
Have phone sex.
Or video sex.
Let arousal take you wherever it leads.
Everything is welcome (with consent, of course). 😉
In solidarity to pleasure,
Me💋