The One Thing You Need to Fuel Sexual Desire: To Be Wanted

And how desire is being cock blocked by need.

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Photo: Canva Pro

I have always been curious about the nature of desire. What is it that compels us to want who and what we want? And how does desire shape our lives and our relationships? More importantly, what role does desire play in our sex life?

Many influential scholars, including Freud, Masters & Johnson, and Kinsey, have tried to answer these questions. But their work lacked... how can I say? Flavor. So for this discussion, I will defer to the artist currently and formerly known as Prince.

In "I Wanna Be Your Lover," Prince sings:

I wanna be your lover/ I wanna be the only one that makes you come running / I wanna be your lover / I wanna turn you on, turn you out, all night long, make you shout / Oh, lover! Yeah, I wanna be the only one you come for

It might appear that he is talking about making this person, presumably, a woman, feel good. But the lyrics are deceptively deceiving. I suspect that what he's really getting at is the desire to be desired. And that is a powerful thing.

So what is desire?