We love a good rebrand. The pivot. The glow up. The fix that brings that old thing back.
We try to use this same marketing hack in long-term relationships. Buying into the myth of the do-over fix. We convince ourselves that if aging or domestic routine yucks our yum, we can just hit the reset with someone new.
Trouble is, bodies have odometers, not do-over buttons. And you can’t unknow what you know about time and gravity.
The predictability and loss of novelty in long-term love are not glitches. They’re reality, which makes it easy to mistake familiarity with the kind of boredom to be solved by a therapist, an exotic vacation, or a new lover.
FYI: A new lover can serve up a heaping dose of adrenaline, sometimes, but not always. But they can’t offer history. And adrenaline is best used in short bursts (too much, too often is called stress).
I’m not advocating for misery in the name of shared history, here. But what I am saying is fleeting thrills are just that… fleeting.
Healthy long-term love offers a witness to versions of yourself that will never be again. Shared memories at different points in your life. Yes, even the sexy bits.
In this week’s episode, we are confronting the myth of the sexual do-over.
What if sex with the same person isn’t a dress rehearsal for a better future?
Listen here (up there 👆🏾) or on your favorite platform.
